Do you like my pro-life poem?

I wrote this 2 weeks ago and well I want to know what ppl think about it!





Unheard scream....








Once Upon a broken happy wonderful dream....


I was your's mommy...


Until the day, when I screamed my unheard scream...


mommy I love you so ever much... remember when u felt my first little kick


I was your's mommy...


Now I have gone to my final resting place up in heaven with Jesus....


He and I walk hand'n hand together, just the two of us


What did I do?


To deserve to die that way?


Why wouldent you let me stay?


Was your own selfish needs more important than my life?


I wish I would have stayed....


To eat a birthday cake


To smell all those pretty flowers....


To run and play...


Why did I have to die?


I know you hear my unheard cry...


Do you regret that I had to die


To make you happy?


I see you standing by the window gazing into the rain...


listening to me...


But its to late you see...


Tears run down your face


Do you remember my blood all over the place?


Yes I felt the pain


for your selfish gain


I was made in a moments heat


Even though I begged at your feet


you still murdered me in a flash


It just took a matter of cash


Im gone in body... but my soul is not


Its time for you to hear my unheard cry


My broken dream will become your ultimate nightmare...


Its something you are just going to have to bare...


Goodnight mother dear, have a sweet dream


It is now time to hear me, my unheard scream.....

Do you like my pro-life poem?
THAT IS SOOOO GOD I LOVE IT ITS SAD : ( BUT SOOO GOOD!!
Reply:Terrible grammar, full of ridiculous phrases and cliches, and your belief is messed up. Get over yourself.
Reply:Well, it's terribly sentimental, isn't it? There's no real emotion, just attempts at making the reader feel guilty and sad. The grammatical errors and sporadic rhyme scheme also get in the way of any real emoting. It would be better to choose one image--walking with Jesus, the actual procedure, etc. and making that strongly detailed. Just my opinion!



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