Why does he care so much about his ex?

I don't get why after being with me for a year he still has to call about her. I know I sound like a raging jeolous woman but I feel I have reason. My boyfriend and I were friends before we got together. He actually use to call me his back burner girl. The thing is I still kinda feel like the back burner girl. Last month we celebrated our first year together and I didn't even get a card. The month before that the same for my birthday. He borrowed money to buy her flowers and expensive stuff and I didn't even rate a card. I know I'm jealous of this girl.I found out he called her to see if she had her baby that wasn't even his child. I'm really hurt that she can't stay in the past. I've asked him to be honest with me about her and to tell me if he has feelings for her and he tells me no but I fear he maybe with holding his true feelings. I don't want him to just be with me because I'm the one who is here. I know I'm over reacting and sound very jealous but I can't help it

Why does he care so much about his ex?
I do not think you are being jealous and I understand where you are coming from. I am in a similar situation, where I am stuck on a girl from the past and it makes my current relationship harder. She sometimes feels like she is second, though that is not the truth and I think I have been getting better and better at showing her that.


He probably does still have feeling for her, but just is afraid to tell you. I know that I am having trouble getting over the past and moving on with the future, but I have been completely open and honest about it in my realtionship, and she is supporting me very well, even though it is hard for her.


I would let him know that these things are bothering you. Talk to him and tell him how you are feeling, and that it hurts and you wish things would change. You have to do what is right for you. If he cannot or will not give you what you need, then back off a bit, and let him see what he is missing. There is the chance he will not care, but it may also show him that he really does care about you and that you are more important to him than the past.


Good luck


Peace and love
Reply:bcos its not easy to get rid of luv,if u also bcome his ex ,he will still have a place in his heart 4 u.men are like that ,so try and care bout her too by asking him bout her and how shes doing ,he will luv u for that...for more mail me on bjpumpindogg@yahoo.com.... am a nigerian
Reply:no you are not dreaming, he still has feeling for her, you need to talk to him about it, and have him spit it out, that is **** that he treats you like that, then pampers his ex, i would be sooooo pised if my bf treated me like that, i would slap him, and of course he still has feelings for her, it is ooooooobsvies!
Reply:you don't sound like you are over reacting or being unreasonable in your feelings based on what you wrote. do not listen to his words, listen to your gut.


from what you explained it most definitely sounds like he is using you as a back burner girl. but stop wondering what is going on in his head and ask yourself why YOU are choosing to stay in this situation and why YOU are using him to abandon yourself????????????????????????????????...


Then get the courage mustered up to say good-bye before you are shattered.
Reply:in my opinion two people of the opposite sex can be friends without being lovers even though they had a previos relationship does ni=ot mean they cant still communicate with one another my ex and i met 13 years ago and we have always had contact he is my very very best friend and no one can change how you feel for a person especially if you ahve along lasting bond with that person you feel jealous and insecure i understand that but if he tells you nothing is goingon and you still dont trust him then i think you should end the relationship you obviously have trust issues guys dont reaaly go out and get cards for certain occations thats noy in some men to even think about 1st yr anniversaries you need to sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel it will help you to understand there relationship meet her and after you talk he will know how he is making you feel Good Luck
Reply:You are being used, time to move on.


You are being jealous, and for a good reason.


You are not over reacting, you are having some self respect and wanting it from him. Go find a guy who deserves you.


Good luck.
Reply:sounds like he is still kinda in this gril why in the world would you want to be friends with and ex. well i can't talk my hubby's ex girlfriend is married to his cousin
Reply:Tell him outright how you feel, and that you are NOT his back burner girl! You really should have never stood for being called that, in the first place.





You don't sound like you are being irrationally jealous to me. You cannot help but notice these things.





Look you deserve as much, if not more, than any other girl. You have stuck it out with him. Do NOT settle for less. And, if anyone ever calls you anything remotely like that again, kick em in the nads!





If you allow people to treat you like a second rate citizen, you are gonna feel like one, and be one!
Reply:You know what you need to do.......find a man that loves YOU, and cares about YOU.........not his ex! Move on, it's over!! No card, no recognition....life is too short for that!
Reply:You are not jealous of her. What you are is aware of the underlying truth: Your boyfriend is not over his ex-girlfriend, and he is using you to fill the gap. If you want to play second fiddle to a memory, by all means stay with him. Just remember that the second his ex is available, you are going to be the ex... and I doubt he will send you a card on your birthday then, if he doesn't do it now. I don't mean to be cruel, but the sooner you realize this, the easier it will be for you.





Dump this guy. Whether he still cares about his ex is an afterthought. I don't think he cares enough about you, so he doesn't merit your effort. This isn't about his feelings for her, but his mistreatment of you.
Reply:Pavlov explained it by, ring a bell every-time you feed a dog and he will soon salivate by just ringing the bell without giving the dog any food, your boyfriend is just used to the reaction he gets from her when he cares about her, you need to do things for him like he does for her and bingo pretty soon he will return this feeling for you, just show him attention when he does do something for you and he will be conditioned with the same response he is giving to ex.
Reply:i think you should tell him its you or her your soon find out why live a lie
Reply:leave him its obvious he still loves his ex you can do alot better find someone who will love you back and dont be a rebound for your boyfriend its not worth it!!! best of luck
Reply:you don't sound jealous without reason. put anybody in your predicament and i'm sure ALL of us would feel insecure and worried about it. him not giving you a card on your bday and him borrowing money for flowers for her, just doesn't cut it. you should expect more from your partner and if he hasn't got the respect for you that you deserve, then tell him exactly how you feel. you said he was called you his backburner girl and that you still feel that way sometimes. if that is how you feel then it probably is a good indication to sort out what you want from this relationship. if you think it isn't going to change, then move on with someone who will treat you better.
Reply:get rid of him he still cares for her
Reply:No girl your not over reacting.. because i think damn after a year hes been with you the flowers should have went to you... not his ex.. he still wants his ex and i think you need to get out before you get hurt worse then you are right now...
Reply:Wake up and smell the coffee, dear. He still has feelings for her, he is not over her, and he could very well be having a physical and intimate relationship with her behind your back.





You could do much better - you don't need someone who considers you his "back burner" girl - that is a horrible thing to tell someone.





You have every right to be jealous and ANGRY for I know I would be.





You deserve better - dump him, and find someone who showers all of his attention and love on YOU and you alone.





Good Luck!
Reply:dump his *** before he dumps you , sounds like you are just a fill in lady for him
Reply:your not over reacting at all its only natural u feel this way.


You need to get to the bottom of their relationship. Even if he wants to stay in touch fair enough but it does seem a bit much the way hes going about it. Are u also 100% sure the baby is not his. Think about these things how long were they together because it is hard to just switch off for someone u were in love with, what other emotional stuff had they been thru together they may sure a hell of a lot of history thats hard to let go.


Bottom lined- U need to talk to him and get things straight if things dont change get yourself outta there u dont want to be the back burner forever. Find someone who puts u first
Reply:When he called you his back burner girl you should have known something then. That meant that he wasn't sure about his relationship with her and now the same thing is happening to you. Leave him alone and find someone that will be true to you. The fact that he borrows money to buy her a gift is low and thought less. He's a jerk.
Reply:I can feel the pain darling....all you have to do is to let him know how you feel about the issue and if he does not change the behavior just give him the 'boot'.
Reply:well am sure that you have read all the responses and all of them are true. He still has a soft spot for his ex (won't say that he still loves her cause i don't know) but i will tell you this...sit down with him tell him how you feel the jelousy,hurt and love.tell him that he needs to sort out his feeling and you can't go on in a relationship with him acting the way he is. Girl walk out but be prepared for what ever may come cause he may not come back as you may hope he will.Think seriously before you do anything.you can either stay and be tortured or walk out and be free. good luck
Reply:Well.. man care about something always is the ego male hormone things. It mean to conquer the opposite sex mentally or physically. So uncontrollably, most man will fall into his past of love for doing the secret affair of sex. You got more charms and beauty than his ex? As man grade woman only by visual sex appeal, than woman grade man by his sensitivity of emotion and personality. So to conquer man, u need to turn him on sexuality, but not give so easy into it for him. The can't they get, the more they want, so as his ex gf case. Bcoz.. he can't get her...
Reply:There is no excuses for not even getting you cards.... Shops are open all hours! My X was the same he had a 'friend' who he txt and happen to bump into all the time... when we split up it turned out he had a child he had forgotton to mention which was with this 'x' .... fair enough,but why all the lies??



hairstyles hair style