Am I insane? I am visiting my best friend's grave site tomorrow and leaving a letter I wrote. Tomorrow would

have been her 32nd birthday. She passed away on July 15th. I want to put flowers on her grave too but that just sounds stupid. Do I take a single flower, a bouquet, a plant, or just something like a letter in a plastic bag so that it doesn't get weathered and maybe a picture. I miss her so much and I feel obsessive with knowing how to handle this situation tomorrow.

Am I insane? I am visiting my best friend's grave site tomorrow and leaving a letter I wrote. Tomorrow would
I know how you feel as I go through this on a regular basis...


My best friend suicided in late 2006, and I am always visiting her...sometimes I just jump in the car and go and sit..have a chat, and yes leave her notes. This is not a silly thing to do in my opinion because it also acts as therapy for you in letting out your feelings.


I would take whatever she liked...for my friend it was sunflowers and dragonfly's that she loved, so this is what I normally take...a bunch of sunny's with a little dragonfly poking through them....


Good luck hun...it is a hard thing to be going through. ((hug))
Reply:You aren't insane in the least. It's beautiful that you want to honor the memory of your friend.





Everyone grieves differently, %26amp; I think it's essential to express your grief in a positive way, like you are doing, instead of bottling it up.





I lost my great grandmother, who was the heroine of my life, last year, and one of the ways I like to remember her is to stop whenever I see a beautiful flower, smell it and think of her and kind of mentally tell her "I love you." She adored gardening. I believe it makes her smile.....





Your friend will love whatever you leave her. It's the thought, the heart of the action, that matters, and she will love you for it.





May you have peace %26amp; strength.
Reply:I think a letter is great idea. Flowers, single or bouquet are nice. Bring something that's special between you and her. Like her favorite song on a cd or her favorite poem. as for the weathering part, let it weather (she's not going to read it) it's kind of symbolic to let the rain wash it away. I think is is a very good way for you to grieve and celebrate her birthday. and i am so so sorry for your loss.
Reply:You know, I feel really good reading your question. It has made me feel more confident with how I feel about my situation. These days, we are all so busy with internet, cell phones, ipods, that we are not "allowed" to grieve anymore. I had a friend die, and my friends and family never "allowed" me to grieve. I had noone to talk to about it. It was a really hard time in my life, because it was something I had a rough time dealing with. All I can say, is do what makes you feel good. Don't worry about what people think. YOU are the one that needs to do whatever it takes to make yourself feel...right. I also left letters and flowers on his grave site. Do whatever you need to do, to show respect/grieve. In time, I hope it gets easier..for you.
Reply:You're not insane, not at all. You should take whatever you want to take to her grave-- letter, flowers, whatever you think she might have liked. I lost a friend, too, and I'm now 2,200 miles from her grave. Believe me, if I could-- I would do the same thing.





I'm sorry about your friend, by the way. I know how you feel.
Reply:It is not stupid to bring flowers to her grave. I've seen Happy Birthday balloons at graves. Bring whatever you like. If you are going to leave the letter there, definitely put it in a ziploc bag. You may not want to leave a picture, because it will probably be thrown out by the caretakers after a week or so. It depends on how often they clear things out.
Reply:All of your ideas, sound like wonderful, thoughtful ideas. I leave notes, flowers, funny little items on my father's grave all the time. I feel peace, when I spend time with him, and it has been almost 16 years. He is buried with a funny, little gift from me, that only he would understand. It represents the bond we had together.


Do what makes YOU feel best. No two people grieve the same. There is no right, or wrong, way to deal with the loss of someone you truly loved. Spend time with her. She WILL know that you are there. You, and she, are in my prayers.
Reply:You are definitely not insane--you are very sad because of your friends passing and need to grieve for her. You should leave as much or as little as you want on her grave, people won't care what you do. You are not weird, but you may want to read your letter aloud before you place it there if you decide to.
Reply:No, not strange at all... I did it a few times. It helps you to get out the things that you were never able to say to her. When one of my friends died, I wrote a letter to him %26amp; left it out on my desk for a few days. I figured, if he was watching out for me like he did in life, he would surely see it %26amp; read it. It's a good idea. Don't let anyone tell you it's abnormal.
Reply:You should do what makes you feel good. Ignore insensitive remarks. There is nothing wrong with what you want to do. It's all part of grieving. I would take her whatever you want to, even if it was one single rose and if you want to write a letter just go for it. One so young is just not fair. My heart goes out to you. It does not sound stupid!
Reply:Take whatever you wish.





I never did understand why people take


letters to a grave site. It's not like the person


can read it. But then again, if they can read it


by the grave, they can also read it as you write it.





Do whatever you need to do to feel at peace.
Reply:The living should do their best to take care of their dead, in order to keep them happy wherever their spirit dares to wander. You only need to take flowers if you feel it appropriate. Otherwise, pay your respects, but do not always think of the dead, or they will rule you.
Reply:im sorry to hear you lost your friend thats got to be tough .no your not insane. its really sweet what your doing.


do whatever you feel if its from the heart its not stupid. everyone grieves differently. take whatever you want to her grave. you sound like a great friend. take care
Reply:Bring the letter. She can read it while she's in heaven! And for the flowers, it doesn't matter. Bring as many as you want!


I feel bad for you. Don't cry over it, though! She's in a better place!
Reply:Anything that u want to leave is up to u. If u do take a note I would protect it with some kind of plastic. It doesn't matter, it is your best friend and your business what u decide.
Reply:no you are not insane.


bring as much flowers as you like.


and read to her the letter the you wrote too.











my sincerest condolences.
Reply:thats not crazy!


you miss your friend, thats understandable.





but i recommend that you read the letter while your there,, dont leave it there for others to read and yes take flowers.
Reply:This is for you, not her. Just that fact that you remember her and love her is enough. I'm really sorry for your loss. :(
Reply:No.





That's not insane.





That's understandable.





My sincere condolences.
Reply:Just take any flower
Reply:express your feelings for her and forget what others think, you are a special person to care like that god bless
Reply:You're not insane. Do what you need to do to express your grief.
Reply:No your not insane. I have done the same thing only I left my brother a letter after he died. Ive done that three times.
Reply:its great u want to honor ur friend, take as much as u want to put on their grave.
Reply:there is no right way to do stuff like that
Reply:That is not crazy at all. I leave letters too. In my heart I belive that they can and do read them. When did taking flowers become stupid???
Reply:I always wondered why I love my girl friend, and to what extent do i love her, this question has been in my mind a lot of the time since my lover died, and i found an empty space in my life with out her, i realized that now i am a alone, a great need for my beloved partner, and i feel that my world has finished, and i would not find no one that could take her place.





Now i am very lonely and my life do not mean any thing any more every thing that i had build with her have no value, and i stopped living the sort of life i used to, and i see every thing in life boring, and have no time for any body, my life is misrable and i am not as happy and contented as i use to be. I have some thing missing in my life, that i can not find any more no matter where i go and what i do.





I have realized that i am alone with my dreams, and i do feel that although i have my dreams, and that they do love me, my life is still desire my loved one ever so much, I can not forget her for one minute, my love her does continue with out stopping.





My mind insisted to find a nice lady and try to get married her, but instead i go over to the grave of my dreams, and contemplate on beautiful memories that we had together, and then i started to talk as we are still together.





So i tried to take the advice to find some one to take her place and i did but it was not the same i kept repeating her name when i was with this lady, and i found out that i can not make love the way i use to do with my loved one. Still i was not happy, her memory was still in my mind.





It is hard to forget some one you loved so much, and I have told this lady that i can not love her as i love my g/f, and she understood and slowly we got to know each other better and we are only friends and nothing else.





It goes to show the extend that a man like me will go when his loved one gone out of his life and never to see her again but i do see her every time i go to the graveyard of my dreams to visit the tomb and say beautiful things to her, and then i leave knowing that i am pleased and happy and very contented.




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