Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Is my boyfriend forgetful, or just not caring?

We have been together for 2 years, the first year, he bought me presents for my birthday, and christmas, and flowers for valentines day, the second year, nada. I purchased him presents for each of these holidays, which he gladly accepted, but he did not get me anything in return... He gave me a heart pendant last christmas which I tactfully told him I did not like... and he told me he would never buy me anything again, but he is legitimately doing it, should i just stop buying things for him... I find his gift giving behavior bizarre...

Is my boyfriend forgetful, or just not caring?
HI :)





I am also named Laura





Well anyways on to an answer. I think your guy is being a real jerk. He obviously did not pay attention to what you like when he purchased your gift. He is being a real jerk. I dont know how to fix his bad additude, but I would definetly not be buying him anything. I assume the reason you are asking this question is that Christmas is coming.





Maybe you should discuss this with your guy. If he is being this big of a jerk now it will only be worse in the future. Perhaps it is time to move on if he is still not willing to settle things.





What a real douche I must say, I just shake my head and wonder how someone could be so uncaring.
Reply:Think about it. He bought you something and you rejected it. Key word "Rejection". He has probably a million things he's wanted to get you but those words keep ringing in his mind. Well sweetie he's not a mind reader. Since the cat didn't have your tounge when you shot him from the sky maybe you should use that special skill and "tactfully" ask him why he hasn't bought you anything. But before you do you need to learn some manners. If your given a gift, accept it and be appreciative. The thought counted more than the item. Showing the type of appreciation you did appears to characterize you as selfish and self centered. Maybe you disagree. But a junkie denies he's a junkie and a drunk cant smell his own stench. You need to apologize for having been so unthoughtful that time and apologize for any other time you may have acted selfishly. Weather or not you mean it. Then "tactfully" let him know waht type of things you do like. Now everyone has their own opinion on what "tactfully" means but I say to you dont bombard him with everything you like. Casually mention how pretty something is as you pass by a store with him or browse through a catalog together, or something of this nature. Otherwise you may not be expecting anything this Christmas either. Don't forget to apologize and excuse you lack of appreciation and abruptly damaging his psyche.
Reply:talk to him about men are just little boys in a mans body you may have hurt his feelings more then you know when you turned down his gift.... tell him you enjoy getting gifts for him but you also enjoy recieving gifts from him and you think he doesnt care about you...... i wouldnt say he doesnt care intil you talk to him about it
Reply:i think that is not caring. it's understandable if he forgets maybe a birthday or anniversary but not christmas and things like that. he obviously is just using what you said as an excuse to not get you anything. stop getting him stuff and see how he feels.
Reply:You two should sit down..and each of you write a list of things that you would like to get for christmas..make a list of 5 things..and this will give each other chance to pick from the list..No one is mad about there gift and he can spend a little of his money...
Reply:You know, I've been disappointed in the same way.





I think it's an easy way out of not buying gifts (he's using the fact that you didn't like the pendant).. he doesn't have to put time, thought or money into buying you gifts.





Truthfully, he sounds like a bit of an ash hole, just like I've got (for the holidays, that is).





Better luck next time (to us both)!!
Reply:hes being sooo stupid!!! don't buy him any thing any more!!! he should except your tastes
Reply:If he said he would never buy you anything again then obviously that is what he is doing. Next time he does get you something and you don't like it just accept it. You hurt his feelings by not accepting it when he put his heart into getting you something.
Reply:He is not that caring. But most men are not that caring after they have gettin what they want/.
Reply:he is not caring. just stop buying things for him as well. see how he likes it.
Reply:Well... Id be hurt if I bought someone something and they told me they didnt like it. I mean, if you dont like it, dont wear it so much. Wheres the need to put a downer on his gift?
Reply:Maybe you really hurt his feeling by telling him you didnt like a gift that he took the time to pick out especially for you. Sometimes when you are showered with too many gifts, they start being less appreciated. Try to consider his feeling, finacial status, and quality, not quantity.



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