Why can't I do nice things without people thinking I have a hidden agenda?

I use to buy girls at my workplace flowers, or gifts on their birthdays all the time, now I've stopped because they always think I have a hidden agenda.





It finally got to the point that I had to have a talk with this one girl, and I was like "listen, you're attractive, but I am not into you, so stop thinking that I am. I got you something nice because you're a cool person, so lets just leave it at that."

Why can't I do nice things without people thinking I have a hidden agenda?
Each of my friends is a little different in some way - it is what we enjoy about each other.





If you like doing nice things for people, than continue to do so. These women, and perhaps some men as well, probably think you have an ulterior motive because that is what so many people sadly do have these days.





One way to help over come that besides just being honest and laid back about the whole deal would be to get something for all the girls to enjoy - maybe burn a CD they can listen to at work, or buy each of them a candle and leave it on their desks with a note stating 'just thought you would all enjoy these.'





Eventually they will realize it is just your normal behavior and when you give someone an individual gift it will not be that big a deal. If someone continues to give you a hard time about it, or perhaps does not like it as some girls do not want any special attention unless asked for, then just leave them out. It might sound uncivil, but if it is actually causing problems in the work place it is doing more harm than good. Stick with a card on special occasions (birthdays, holidays, promotions, etc.) and leave it at that.





Good luck!





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Reply:this is b/c now a days people aren't just nice and giving. many time people will do something so that others feel obligated to return a favor, which is so wrong.
Reply:Are you the type who looks a little suspect..creepy ..or nurddish..it could be your attitude ..don't give them anything ..or maybe just a


cheap card ..


and as for the one who makes you cookies ..go for it ..otherwise they will think you are gay ..
Reply:Nice way of looking at things.Just be yourself. You are fine as you are now.Let people think what they want.
Reply:I think that is a lovely thing for you to do. I don't think you should stop it, if that is the kind of person you are then just be yourself, in a way by stopping doing these things you have let other people change you!
Reply:It's how society developed. Maybe during the olden-ages can we do something good for others without receiving much speculation. But now, no matter how many good things you do, you still have a chance of being branded a hypocrite.
Reply:cause most people have a hidden agenda when they do nice things



make up