Is my wife taking advantage of me?

I cook the food, clean the house, do groceries, give her massages DAILY, paint her nails as often as she likes, buy her flowers, surprise her with HALF-BIRTHDAY celebrations, take her away for surprise weekend getaways, leave, "I love you" notes all over the place, work 40 hours a week, etc..etc. All of her friends have said, "Does your husband have a twin?!". Last night, she says, "do you think that you could do a little more around the house to help out". WHAT?? Help!!

Is my wife taking advantage of me?
All the good ones are always taken and abused.
Reply:Wow, I wish my man did half the stuff you do. She should be grateful.
Reply:ok if you seriously do ALL that for her, then yes it's possible she may be taking advantage of it. Is she pregnant? Pregnant women can't get enough of special treatment when they recieve it, but then again there's such thing as just being spoiled and acting it. Think of a child who's spoiled, they always want more, what they get is not enough....they have to have it all. Same thing with women and men when they recieve that treatment, they are sooo used to getting most things done for them then they get lazy and don't want to do their share and expect that to be done also.


i would suggest toning it down a bit and talking to her and splitting chores up...you cook, she does the dishes, she sweeps, you mop...things like that. Good luck and you sound like a great guy...keep it up, it'll get better...just talk to her.





Also if she's expecting, be careful of her being jealous of the baby...if you spoil your child like you do her now and take some of that attention away from her, it can take a tole on your relationship...fix it now....talk to her.
Reply:id say u take on enough. she should be very gratful that she has a man that will do so much.
Reply:why do u do soooo much anyway?were u like this when u 1st met her?is that why she married u??? think man.....it is important!a woman that learnt a certain way....will not accept anything less!she can only ask for more!If that was U when u 1st met....then im sorry...dnt expect her to change!ur only chance is to talk to her...and gradually stop some of the things u do for her!!
Reply:You're a great guy, but since she's so used to you doing those things, she doesn't realize they're special. The moment you relax and just don't do EVERYTHING, she thinks you're being lazy. Basically, she's spoiled and doesn't realize how great she has it. It's normal for women to get stressed out like that though, and not think of the big picture - I do it sometimes too! =]
Reply:It is hard to say as we all have our own perspective going into any argument. Ask what she is specifically needing help with and determine if you think she is being reasonable. Perhaps the two of you should sit down and come to an agreement as to who does what around the house. Better to approach this before emotions get involved.





It is nice for you to do all of those things for her, but be sure you do not start resenting this over time. In any relationship, communication is one of the most important parts to keep things functioning. You should both be receiving and investing good things into this relationship.


Be honest with her and let her know that it confuses you when she acts like you do not do enough around the house and ask how you can both approach this with fairness to work together as a team to keep house.
Reply:Is she pregnant? Is she looking after a new baby? If the answers to these questions are 'Yes', then you;'re not being taken advantage, but wow, you do a lot for her! Congratualtions on being so wonderful.





If it's just that she is lazy, then yes. You need space from working constantly.





EDIT: I just looked through you other questions and found that she is 5 months pregnant- the woman is actually working harder than you are! She can't muster up the energy required to clean so you need to do what she can't.
Reply:If I were you I would defiantly feel unappreciated! I think you and your wife are due for a talk. It sounds like she sees things differently than you do. I would also keep a copy of this Y%26amp;A.
Reply:Relax its just the hormones... She does appreciate you.She's a lucky girl too!
Reply:Good God of migty... I wish I had a man like you.... my boyfriend will look at me crazy if I asked him to do all of those things....You are a very good man keep up the good work.
Reply:Good Job!!! I am pleased as pie to see a man doing such awesome things * MY HUSBAND IS GREAT TOO* It does seem that your wife is failing in the appreciation department!


Maybe you should go a couple of weeks without doing these things and let her see how much you really do. This worked for me when my husband was not being the loving man he is now


Good Luck to ya
Reply:It's like to me you need to stop pampering then she can complain. You kind of deserve it for pampering her and babying her every whim.
Reply:Mum excuse me are you the maid??? Try telling her that we are in this together and then do things together or take turns come on you are letting her fun all over you. You are suppose to be the man right and of the house. Be a man about it put her in her place. What me and my husband do is everything together and we also take turns. Today you rub, my feet tomorrow I rub yours. Flowers are OK like once a week. Half birthdays come on does she even remember yours? I love you notes are we in middle school?? If you work then she stays home and cleans, cooks, and does groceries











But if she is pregnant then its really fine. She deserves to have time off. She is pregnant take care of her you want the baby to be healthy right.
Reply:okay okay okay, great question man... here. What is going on is maybe the one thing you DONT do is the one thing she doesn't want to do... so sit with her and say, what can i do around the house and what can you do... what would help you... act as if you do NOTHING when you say this... then say ok... so you dont mind doing the dishes... but you HATE vacuuming, got it. communication sweetheart.. it works. and if she is a total psycho and acts as if you DONT do anything when you say that.... tell her to f off and STOP doing things for a while. you don't deserve being treated like a dog.
Reply:Is she pregnant? If so then she may need a little extra help doing certain things. If not then yeah she might be taking advantage of you a little bit. I want to find a guy like you for myself though!!
Reply:WOW!!! Maybe she doesn't realize how much you do. I was like that with my husband while I was pregnant. Finally he said something about it and I sat back and really paid attention. I was like wow he does EVERYTHING. Hopefully things get better and she will realize how great you are. I'm sorry and good luck!!
Reply:WHAT THE HELL!!,u could do more,she gave birth!!





im just kidding


talk to her b4 bed,and tell her im doing alot around the house we should both pitch in,and cut haf of the stuff ur doing now,and do that like 3 times+ a month,not everydaY!!
Reply:Im sorry but I really would LOVE to hear her side of things.
Reply:if you are saying the truth then you are a Real catch!! you dont cheat or anything do you?? she is one lucky woman.. and should appreciate you.. or someone might steal you away...
Reply:you've definitely spoiled her.. and now you've created a monster (sorry lol) but that's what's happened. what does she do around the house or for you?
Reply:WOW! i wish my man was like that!


You should probably talk to her about it. You're the head of the household and it sounds like she doesn't know whats she's got. Maybe if she sees how you feel she'll change quick. Stop doing all those things for her and she'll notice!





Good luck!
Reply:Here is what you do...stop doing all those things you do for awhile to show her just how much she will miss. Right now you are being taken advantage of because you let her. I know you love her, but you have become accustomed to doing things just to please her and don't seem to be getting much back...take a breather...take a day off..my friend...let her see what doing 'nothing' around the house feels like for a bit and by all means...talk to her. Talking is the only way she will know what is bothering you and maybe there is a greater underlying issue with her attitude. Talk...talk...talk..best of luck to you.
Reply:Is she pregnant? Yes you should be doing those things if she is. If she is able to clean, work, etc, why doesn't she? If you think she is taking advantage of you, please talk to her. Tell her she needs to start carrying her load a little.
Reply:Talk to her about it. Make a list of the things you already do around the house and ask her to be specific about what more she wants. Maybe she doesn't realize everything you do. Put it in perspective for her. Best wishes!
Reply:Well that is a hard question, but easy to answer, DOES SHE WORK? DOES SHE HELP? IS SHE WITH CHILD? and if it is no to theses questions, you can pick up your SUCKER ID card at the local flower shop. Things like that should be shared, it should never be a one-sided deal. Sorry
Reply:If only my husband would act like you. Look, pregnancy is hard, alot harder than most men think, but she is taking you for all that she can. I am 8m pregnant and until last night, I did all of the cleaning, laundry, taking care of my 11m old, volunteering at a local fire dapt as a dispatcher, and I give my husband daily massages. Stop with the gifts, getaways, celebrations, and painting her nails. Unless she is on strict, only allowed to go to the bathroom, bedrest, she can go out and have a pregnancy massage, or a manicure. If you stop spending $ on the gifts, you could just pay someone to clean your house. I would rather spend quality time woth my husband and help out, than have him working all day, and then coming home and working all night!!!!
Reply:Yes she is taking advantage of you!!!


have her do cleaning too!!!
Reply:Wow, You certainly are. Don't get me wrong it's cool that you do all those things for her, but c'mon a marriage is supposed to be 50/50.





Although all situations are different, I used to do all that and more for my ex-wife (key word being ex), and it got me nowhere. All she did was walk all over me, and like an idiot I let her, because I wanted to be a good husband. Well, I got tired of being the only one doing anything, so I liberated my balls from her purse and put her in check, she wasn't to crazy about the new me.





My advice to you is do those things in moderation, don't do it all the time or she'll come to expect it. In short, if you feel like your being taken advantage of , then you are. Find a way to grow some balls, but still be a nice guy.



White Teeth