My boyfriend and i have been going out for 6 years. I'd like to get married some day.?

He keeps on saying he's 2 young (he's 27). All my friends R getting married - i don't want to be old when i finally get married. Also, he doesn't plan stuff for us to do anymore. When we first started to go out, he couldn;t wait 2 see me. We've been living together now %26amp; its like he can't be bothered to take me out. I always have to initiate outings to parks, cinemas, restaurants. But whenever his mates phone him, he meets up with them at the drop of a hat and gets all excited about seeing them.


I love him but feel like i'm with a guy who's always disappointing me. He's not romantic at all. In the 6 yrs together, he's bought me flowers twice when i always have a dig at him to buy me flowers for special occassions like birthdays, etc.


I'm almost 30 now,feel a bit like i've wasted 6 years on a guy i maybe shouldn't be with.I love him %26amp; i think he loves me, but if he's not prepared to make me happy by marrying me what should i do? How do i get him to do more with me as a couple?

My boyfriend and i have been going out for 6 years. I'd like to get married some day.?
I know this may sound a little harsh and may I appologise in advance if it does but why do you want to marry him if you are not happy with the way he treats you at the moment? Personally, I am a romantic at heart but a few things change when you live together, he has got to a stage where he is comfortable with you and probably feels like he doesn't need to make the effort. He gets excited about seeing friends because he doesn't live with them and its a change of scenery. I'm sure he loves you deeply but some times us guys need a bit of a kick up the back side from time to time as we tend to get stuck in a rut. Without making it sound like I am trying to turn the question around onto you, when was the last time you did something romantic for him? What I am trying to say is that their are two sides to every relationship, and romance isn't always about flowers or going out, it can be the small forgotten gestures, I believe everyone has a romantic streak, but every single one of us shows it in a different way. Why would you want to get married just because all your friends were? If you get married at a time when no one else is then that means more attention for you! The best advice I have ever received was as follows: Never complain about your partner until you are a perfect partner yourself. Basically, if you up your level of effort in your relationship, it usually rubs off to an extent, and if it doesn't, you should be able to draw your own conclusions about whether it is time to move on or not. Finally, never look upon a 6 year relationship as a waste, you wouldn't be the person you are now without it, and wouldn't know what to avoid next time. Good Luck!
Reply:It sounds to me like the two of you have different priorities. You want to get married; he doesn't -- at least not right now. Now that you live together it sounds like he's gotten comfortable in the relationship, and he probably doesn't want anything to change. The question is, do you?





If you do, you're going to have to sit down with him and have a serious talk. Make sure he understands that this is very important to you. Describe to him what you want your life to look like 5 years from now. If his plans don't match yours, that could be a problem. If one person wants to get married and the other doesn't, that's incompatability. It's the same as one person wanting kids and the other not wanting them. It's a major issue.





I advise that people should bring up the marriage issue very early on in the dating process. Ask them what their plans are. If the guy is extremely vague or doesn't know what he wants--move on.
Reply:he doesn't seem to want the same things u do.. u need to be in a relationship that moves forward, where u know it would end up in a marriage. talk to him, asking him where he sees the relationship going or what he plans for the future or if u even have a future with him.


but u don't seem that happy with him... if u dump him, someone else is bound to come along. it's up to u, but u definitely need to talk to find out where u stand.


i hope things work out right for u. goodluck
Reply:more important things is if he is acting like this why would you want to marry him.. do you think it will get better.. no it will get worse
Reply:you could probably go out and buy yourself one of many books about how to get your man to marry you. you might even succeed. however, even if you do, bear this in mind: he will always probably be fairly unromantic in the way you obviously think you need him to be. the question is, can you live with that for the rest of your life? don't marry him expecting him to change because that is extremely unlikely. personally, i think the important things are not whether he sweeps you off your feet, buys you flowers, remembers every special occasion and tells you he loves you every five minutes. what is he like when you are ill? does he make you lemsip or get you tissues or hold your hair out of your face when you are being sick? how does he react when you're all pre-menstrual and moody? has he ever made you beans on toast or cleaned the toilet without beaing asked? that, to me anyway, is the important stuff. that is the stuff that makes forty or fifty years together viable. maybe i'm wrong, maybe flowers and posh meals are more important than all that. maybe you don't really care about that either. if you really can see yourself with this man, exactly as he is, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forever, then ignore all this claptrap and go out and get that book.
Reply:I would defenitely dump him! You've already wasted six years of your life with him! It defenitly sounds like you deserve something better!
Reply:If he's not ready and you are, you need to move on. He's happy the way things are - you're living together, why should he have any sort of incentive to marry you? Your relationship works for him, it just doesn't work for you.





If he is disappointing you, doesn't live up to your expectations of what a boyfriend should do, why would you want to marry him? He won't live up to your expectations of what a husband will be either!!





You already know what you need to do. The hard part will be doing it - but better to have wasted 6 years than to have wasted 10 or 20...
Reply:My husband was 27 when we got married, so I don't think your boyfriend's age is the issue. We lived together a year before we got married, but were already engaged and deep into wedding plans by this time. I think that made a huge difference in the dynamics of our relationship. I'm sure you've heard the old saying, "why buy the cow, when you're getting the milk for free." I used to hate it when my mom would say this, but you know she was right. I say make yourself a little less available, and he will either figure out you are the one or you can both move on with your lives. And remember, every girl deserves flowers. Good luck!



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