Why doesn't my boyfriend ever do anything special for me??

i do things for him ALL the time. i get a card for him every month on our anniversary, i cook special meals for him all the time, i try to schedule dates for us, but whenever it comes time to leave, he forgets and says "next week" and it never happens. i've never once gotten a card from him (except on my birthday), never got flowers, he never tries to find time to do fun things. i drop hints like crazy and he either doesn't get it or doesn't care. next week we are going to puerto vallarta, mexico for our one year anniversary and he hasn't done a single thing to help me plan the vacation. why won't he do anything special for me? i love him so much and i want to spend the rest of my life with him. he says he feels the same way about me, but it's really hard to feel it. does he just not care about me as much as he says he does??

Why doesn't my boyfriend ever do anything special for me??
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Reply:First of all, woman, flowers are nice, we all know this. Alright, personally, I don't judge relationships on things like flowers or the lack of them. But then that's me. And we're talking about you here. Clearly your boyfriend is a very average sort of man. He doesn't have much time, or the motivation, or maybe the sensitivity to think of doing special little things for his girlfriend, whom as you say he apparently loves very much and wants to spend the rest of his life with. That's a little sad, yes. But it's a very typical thing. But these are very fickle things to base your relationship on. Very fickle and ultimately useless. A completely *** of a boyfriend may do these things just because he is conniving and knows how to get what he wants, but that doesn't make him a nice guy. These things are not nearly as important as most people make them out to be. But, naturally, they do count.


My advice to you is to simply let him know how you feel. I think you should go to your boyfriend, be careful not to be emotional and soppy and high-strung about it, or he will go on the defensive, but just basically lay it out for him in simple terms, how you'd really like and appreciate it if he tried to do nicer things for you more often, giving you cards and doing special little things for you. Tell him this is not how you base your relationship, but that these things count to you, and that if he loves you it'd be nice if he could prove it a little. Tell him that you don't want to corner him, but that this is the way you feel, and say you'd like to be happy with him and learn how to make him happy too, with these little things. Tell him you know it would improve your relationship so much more. And if this doesn't get through to him then maybe you ought to think of doing something about it. Be strong, be independent, and don't be a push over. You're an individual and you have needs and desires just as everyone else, and you want to be happy just like everyone else, so settling for second to best is not a good idea. Be patient, too. Work at it. Be cool-headed and clever and rational about this whole thing, don't let your emotions overcome you. You can get through this little thing. Anyone can.
Reply:sounds to me like he isn't interested


find a better boyfriend that apprechiates the kind things you do for him


in the end when he doesn't have you anymore he's going to remember all the things you did for him and feel like a ***
Reply:sounds like hes lazy. you need to go straight to him and tell him whats up. if he doesnt have a good explanation, i'm sorry, it's not going to work out.
Reply:Sounds like he's not too into you. Let him know EXACTLY how you feel. If he can't fix it, leave.
Reply:While it's possible that he doesn't care enough to do these things, it's more likely that he's just totally clueless. Some guys just do not get hints at all, and you have to come straight out and say what you want.
Reply:unfournately im dealing with the same exact thing.


you'll get tired of being of the supergirlfriend


and then that's when you get mad thats all it takes.


for the chips to fall.


just tiime girlly.


gL!
Reply:every month? why not give him a card every day...
Reply:maybe he thinks because yall are together then he doesnt have to do those things..tell him that you like things like that
Reply:Ask him. Tell him what you want from him. If he loves you, he'll listen.
Reply:Tell him how you feel. He probably shows his love for you in other ways and isn't aware that he's hurting you by not showing his love the way you do. You might have to accept him for who he is. Was he like this when you met him? Good Luck!
Reply:You sound a bit high maintenance. I'm surprised he's still around. You get him a card each month on your anniversary?! Yikes....back off %26amp; quit expecting it. He'll want to do things for you when it isn't expected. Sounds like you're smothering him.
Reply:Actions speak louder than words. I went through the same as you in a different way. He never even introduced me to his parents. Have you met his? It could also be that he's a man and some men don't really do that sort of stuff: Flowers, cards, etc. You find them very rarely but I'm still looking for mine Good Luck
Reply:He is probably just lazy... My dad made my mom mad b/c he didn't plan anything amazing for their 25 anniversary so I saved him by helping him plan a getaway and they had a wonderful time! Tell one of his buddies how you feel maybe he would say something to him??





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Reply:why don't you try to stop doing nice things for him? then he'll realize how much he appreciates you and maybe he'll change his ways.




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