Mother-in-law advice part 2?

I have sent her flowers on her birthday and for mother's day and an occasional "thinking about you" card. Yes, I am a liberal feminist and she's as conservative as they come. I don't have the luxury of "staying home with the kids" since my husband doesn't make enough to support us. So if she has visions of having a "DIL" that stays home to take care of the house and family, she can blame him for dropping out of college and not having a job that pays very well. I don't necessarily appreciate being the bread winner, I have no choice. As far as refusing to go to church, I find it offensive since she is catholic and hubby and I are agnostic. Catholocism offends us and we think that it is rude that she expects us to go. That would be like us expecting her to go to a Buddhist church with us.

Mother-in-law advice part 2?
you sound spoiled. do you really expect your mother in law to abide by your lifestyle? NO!! shut up and just realize this is how she is, like it or not. either speak up to her yourself, or shut up. simple as that.
Reply:You really do not seem genuine (after reading both posts) when you say you send flowers and cards. Seems more like you do so because you have to and not because you want to. You are coming across as thinking you are superior to her and your husband.





You also seem very demeaning speaking of her being uneducated. Just because you have 10 years of college doesn't make you better than she is. A college education can not give you common sense. You may be book smart put it doesn't appear you have much in the common sense department. You also come across as putting your husband down for not finishing college. You seem angry because you have to be the bread winner in the family. These are the real issues.





If you are such a liberal you should be open to different things, including attending a Catholic Church for one night a year. Obviously your husband must of been brought up that way. This would not hurt you one bit and would make her very happy.





I think you are directing your anger for the above mentioned things and blaming it on your mother-in-law. A better idea would be to look in the mirror. I'm sure you won't like this answer. We don't always like to hear the truth.
Reply:Don't worry about the 'petty' stuff.





You - just do the "right" things to her. You will never regret it. Just do the right things - don't pat yourself on the back when you do them .. just do them - and let them go.





Don't harp or dwell on how you %26amp; your husband live your lives -- just live it as you please. There will be many things your MIL won't like - and you can't please everyone all of the time. Truth is - it's your only life -- so live it how you want.


Just don't get in a huff if she doesn't like it -- or if she would do it differently ... just go about it sweetly- and do it your own way. Don't make a big deal of it.





When you can learn to take this on a lighter note -- the whole situation will be better for you.





Just do your thing - and be sweet about it. Don't even let it bother your mind for a second if someone is displeased about the way you live your life. Religion is a freedom choice.





May it easy on you. You've got a long time to be in the family.
Reply:I missed part one but it just sounds like a difference of opinion on everything. I always thing that people think they don't get along with their MIL because she is their spouse's mother but it mught just be because you would never ever be in a "circle" with this person if not for your spouse.
Reply:If I was you I would tell hubby he can shop and send Mom her gifts as you have to much on your plate with work to worry about that. Also, why are her thoughts so important to you? When you reach the point of knowing that unlike her you are self sufficient, do not depend on a man to live and are more then a step ford wife she won't bug you so much.



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