Sunday, October 11, 2009

My Boyfriend's Mother is turning into a monster.?

Basically, me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now. He's very nice, but his mother turns him into a jerk sometimes with her nagging about me.


You see, I sent the woman cards and flowers on her birthday, mothers day, father's death, whatever holiday is next. I haven't gotten a thank you for one thing yet and they usually go missing ( I think in the trash) after a few days. It's also hard because whatever she says, he listens to her.When I walk though the door, I don't get a hello. She doesn't speak much English so I'm basically screwed. It's hard enough that we're two different races (he's Asian, I'm Black ), now I have her talking about me right in front of my face or to other people in the family.Can't kiss ***, Can't express my feelings, I'm at a total loss. I just don't want to end up like his brother-in-law is treated. They have this nasty opinion about him but because he gave them a grandson, they have to bite their tongue.





Help. :(

My Boyfriend's Mother is turning into a monster.?
I think you should cut your losses and move on. If your boyfriend is rude now, it will get worse if you get married. Also, the mother will be even more controlling, and you don't want that in a relationship. I know you probably hate me for saying it, but I believe (based on the little I know about your situation) that you'd be happier in the long run if you left now. Sorry.
Reply:I had a similar experience with an ex; he was nigerian and beautiful, a very lovely guy. His mother had a problem as I'm multiracial and said (outright and in English) that I was half-caste and not worth it. She called me white face B^%$# and told him that I was born of faulty genes.





I never approached his mother disrespectfully, always sent a nice card in the mail, invited them to functions (she never responded kindly) and finally it took it's toll on our relationship.





I felt however it was his role (the now ex) to stand up and let his mother know that she would need to stop. He couldn't and therefore, I left.





I'm happier now, have a lovely boyfriend with a very strong will, who like me is multiracial and we understand each other and support each other in a way my ex and his family were incapable of.





But perhaps there is still some way to make this work for the two of you. Talk it over with him to see what is possible. But, by all means, if you find yourself accepting what you wouldn't otherwise be OK with... there are other fish in the sea.





Good luck hon.
Reply:Stop chasing after him. If he really likes you , he'll come after you Mothers don't like silly girls hanging all over their sona.
Reply:talk to your boyfriend and his mother about it or either you put up with it or dump your boyfriend nobody should be treated that way
Reply:Thats a big *** mess tell your boyfriend to stop listening to the parents and stand up for you maybe the mother will respect it and understand he really likes you.
Reply:Unless you can speak her language or figure out a way to find out why she don't like you and fix it if you can then i would find a new boyfriend. Don't ever stand for being treated low, just because you like someone... tell your boyfriend that you don't appreciate his mom treating you like that maybe he will talk to her.
Reply:wow that sucks


it totally reminds me of my mom and my grandparents. My grandparents hate my mom (initially it was just dislike and disdain, but it developed into hatred and at times violence), my mothers been miserable every time they're over. My dad always aids my grandparents and its really sad. Trust me, you dont ever want to live like that.


if your boyfriend isnt able to put you first and respect your needs. i really would advise a break. maybe he's a great person to you but if you were to get married to him, your life would be quite miserable. trust me. (or rather, my mother's experience)
Reply:i say you tell this to your


boyfriend!



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