I have so many problems i no but no clue how to sort them?

ok so im only 19 but have enogh problems for every1 i know. so firstly i was rapped by a family member wen i was 11 i had help for this but recently i was rapped again going home frm work they didnt catch this man i am now getting flash backs from what happened with my brother aswell it is tearing my life apart my X bf was really helping me thru this bwithout him it sems twice as hard. i am suffering with an eating disorder called bulimio recently iv been passing out i have no self confidence at all and did this to myself to win some1 bk when all ive done now is made my self ill and him feel big bout his self.a lot of wot i thort was close mates have turned against em because i went to my X fianess grave t place some flowers on his birthday rather than going on the piss with them they say i need to move onand grow up.i told them he was my best friend and ill always miss him hes always got a place in my heart they say i dnt deserve my x bk becos i still go t the cemertry

I have so many problems i no but no clue how to sort them?
First of all maybe find new friends because there is nothing wrong with going to the cemetery and putting flowers on someones grave on their birthday when you loved them. If they can't understand that they are not your friends. With the eating disorder and rape see a counselor or therapist because they are trained to help you with that. With your self confidence you have to learn to love yourself first. Hope that helps, Good Luck
Reply:First of all, you do not need anyone (especially a guy) to help you get through the rough parts of your life. I understand it helps knowing someone cares enough to listen and offer advice but you also need to consider that the only person you can truely trust and depend on is you and GOD. Thats it.


I'm really sorry to hear that so many have taken advantage of you in the past and that it is very tramatic. I think you should consider getting some counceling so that you can find closure to these horrible things.


As for the A*holes who say you dont deserve anything else because you still hold on to your love your ur X fiance... They are stupid. They are NO ONE to judge you. You can take as long as you need to greive and mourn the loss of your X fiance. Those kinds of things you will never get over. And those idiots should have absolutely NO afftect on what you think or how you feel! F* them all!!


You need to start focusing on what makes YOU happy. F* what everyone else says or things. You have had too much sh*t taken from you... You need to spend sometime to nurture and help your self.


Good luck with this one *GOD bless*
Reply:you should move foward because there is nothing you can do about your ex or when you got raped. get over it. its all in your head.
Reply:look for someone who can help you darling
Reply:there is nothing wrong with going to your friends grave!! thats payinf respect and if they cant understand that then they need to grow up. i am sorry about all those terrible things that happened when you were younger. :hugs:
Reply:What you need to do is move and just get away.


If u live there your just gonna be stressed out all your life and worrien what will happen next.
Reply:I have alot of sympathy for you!my friend has rapped when she was younger as well.i dont really know what to tell you.like are you seeing a doctor?i think that counselors are the best thing for this.if you dont already have one maybe you should try it and see how it all works out. and im so against rape and abuse and everything so my sypathy for you means alot!i dont know if that really helped though.well i wish you good luck with ur problems and getting them resolved.it will get better it will just take awhile!


good luck!!
Reply:i'm sorry all of that has happened to you, i've been in the same kind of situations myself....... do you go to counselling? sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't, you need to decide whether it will have a positive effect on your life or not. i know it might feel like you need your ex boyfriend, but you don't, believe me. sometimes people who have been raped tend to cling to men in their life, because they need someone to support them.





i used to be really reliant on my ex boyfriend but i'm much happier on my own and single. putting flowers on your ex's grave isn't a good enough reason for your friends to be little bitches. if they can't understand that you respected your ex a lot, tell them to get the ***** out of your life.





if you and your ex get back together, make sure it is for the right reasons. show him you're independent without him and capable of standing on your own two feet and it'll show him you are worthy of his respect. making yourself throw up won't show him that you are a strong woman.





i used to suffer with bulimia, and for me the best way to cope was keeping myself busy. if i felt like binging, i went out with friends, or exercised, because it made me feel like i was controlling my weight without being unhealthy. constantly vomiting will permanently swell your neck, rot your teeth and ruin your insides. i know how much of a struggle it is stopping purging, but you will have to face it at some point.





don't spend the rest of your life reflecting on what has happened to you. keep to yourself for a while, buy some nice clothes, make up, whatever makes you happy. this is one time in your life where you DESERVE to be selfish.





i've been raped, had people die, nearly died several times and got through an eating disorder. after 17 years of constant pain, i'm finally happy. just wait it out, you'll get better and stronger. you have to be tough and remember that if you work hard enough, you'll have a beautiful future.
Reply:Hey,


Firstly, so sorry for all of the bad happenings in your life, but things will turn around for the better. I know, because it happened to me.


Like you, I was abused sexually by family members too, only from when I was three years old...I also ended up with eating disorders and became ill through it...But I overcame that, and I'm so glad that I did. I also lost my boyfriend through a horrible accident, and although we weren't engaged like you were , I visit his grave every week at least. If your friends cant understand why you do this, then they aren't very good friends to have. It's not a really bad thing youa ren't with your ex at the moment though, because you have enough to deal with already. Please speak to someone, a councellor maybe, who can help you through your bad times, and eventually you'll become much stronger. Remember though, the person you can get the most help from is yourself...Try your best to move on from the bad things. You can't change what's happened in the past, but you can control what happens from here on..





I hope things get much better for you.



nanny